Want a world out of the waves of fakes

It has been a long time I visited my blog. It means I have not expressed myself in my words for ages and yes, it is very difficult to find words always. We have bunches of things to express and yet we don’t know how. Long time ago, I discovered a quench in my soul that directed me towards a greatest degree of achievement but nowadays I see a fire inside me. I am searching a life that I dream about, which is full of achievements, ambitions, joys, and a greater degree of independence. I am in the stage of realizing that life has its own optimisms and obstacles, and there are many factors, which prevent us from doing what we love in our lives even at the times when we are madly in a need for such aspects. Many unexpected incidents make us tired, irritated and at most times angry. It seems that this world is full of fakes, and so artificial. There is a saying that if we find ourselves hard to sustain in this world, then probably we must have made for a different world. I am now in the process of creating my world of optimism. I see a lot of poor faces in Vanni on the way when I travel to Jaffna. I see they live in small shelters or houses that are made up of coconut leaves. They had gone through a nightmare and of course, yes they have nothing to lose further. I like the innocence in their faces and this is only where I find no fakes. They remain innocents and my subconscious feels a hungry in their souls. Yes, this is for achievement and definitely, they are in a search for something. They have to search something every day even to survive. Even a single word would come out from their heart and they just don’t spoil their lives with fakes. The only aspect that I doubt about them is that whether they remain poor just because they are innocents or just because they are poor, they remain innocents. However, I find many people just as me who have the same fire inside, and truly, nothing is wrong in creating a world for us if we find that this world is not fitting for us. Regardless of the fakes, and the obstacles thrown at us, we have bunches of things to do in our lives. We are here to do something that we do love and no one else has the rights to prevent us from doing so. Life has a biggg meaning and there is just one opportunity to live it. Nothing is best like creating a world of desires and dreams when we find us hard to cope-up to the waves of fakes and obstacles that come in our way.

Again... a short foot print of my life

Ah....I am back to my blog after a very long time....as I too have entered into a life that is stuffed with some hard schedules. It seems I am going on the right track though I feel bit of bored at times...yes, everything has a successful and meaningful end, which I believe in my life’s too....Nothing has a perfectionism and an everlasting behaviour in life....My short remaining in my hometown in the  last two months was quiet flourishing and memorable. My new teaching experience, my lovable students, fun and all the memories seem be enchanting...my first teaching experience, all my students who have now become my good friends, funs that we had in the classrooms...all such memories remain green in my mind believing it as another important period in my time...a new career in which I have an absolute advantage for my future  and for my foremost dream of starting my own business. Mmm...I am too slightly entering into my new business opportunities, and to a new career with an absolute chance of achievement. My short remaining in my hometown too reminds me about the past, that lovely life we had once upon a time, about my mother, her dreams, her death, how days went critical when she was hospitalized, and about one of my uncle who doesn’t survive at the moment in the world...everything comes into my mind..yes, nothing is going to everlast other than the lovable memories that our souls leave and remind in each stages of life. Mmm....this is not just about my family....I too remember how Jaffna was some years back..how people suffered...how they endeavored for their freedom...how many people died and now how it has turned to be a painful memory. Again, I like to mention about a story of a woman whom I met during these two months....yes she is pretty...she used to tell me that her husband lives in Colombo...however, I was quiet keen to understand that something seems wrong with her. Yes, she lived in Vanni..she has lost her husband and her daughter during war..now she just stays with her mother and her second daughter. I could do nothing for her other than I shocked at that news. So, my short staying in Jaffna has given me a lot of memeories...both delightful and painful. I also should mention about my sister’s daughter who is just about two years and the naughtiest things that she has done to me whenever I open my laptop. Mm....now I am preparing my life for a new beginning believing sincerely that I am going to achieve all my dreams. This is again a small foot print of my life...I know there are many more that I will learn in future...there are more birds to come into my life..whatever it is, I know I am going to get it.           

Gift of being guiltless

Source: elfwood.com

It seems time is passing quiet fast and the things of course have changed a lot. I am now listening to everything that happens around me both with my concern and without, taking note of everything, learning on the realities, worrying at them, at times accepting them as they and at all instances, am being quiet. There would be no other best thing in this world than being what you are and to get the ones who still love you with your weaknesses and to make a lovely life with them. When I talk about the reality, I do really doubt how many people actually showing their real faces when they pass us on a road, when they smile, and at all cases there is a possibility where two or more people meet. I am bored of looking at these artificial faces who smile for money, status and for other material things. Two months ago, I had been in Jaffna my hometown; I was actually looking for the innocent faces, the real smile they had and for the people who were with me in my past and the beautiful memories that they left. However, it has taken time for me to realize that the Jaffna in my mind was there several years back, what is being there now is just a place, and the guiltless has gone far away from them. But I know, this is not a thing that can be criticized because they all are made to change like that and yes, now I even have changed or most probably, I am made to change like that. I now have learned how to smile, walk, and talk and to do everything in an artificial way and this cannot be complained at all because this world doesn’t allow real innocent people to be such always. But I do remember, it is something like a small dot of light in a dark night, I met a girl in a bus when I was in Jaffna two months ago, who was about sixteen or seventeen years old. The bus was crowded and later, the woman who was sitting near to her seat had left and that girl touched my hands and told me to sit there. I just travelled around twenty minutes in that bus and she started talking to me like a person who knew me before. She gave me some peanuts, she talked about everything, about her family, how they came to Jaffna and about many things, and she was a pure village girl. As to what she said, she was in Vanni and due to the war, they displaced to Jaffna, and she had lost two of her sisters in war and now there are only three people in her family. She told that there was a best friend to her who looks just as me, and now having no contacts with her due to that they are separated due to the war. She had written the O/Level examination and told that she really love to study further but there was a serious shadow in her face, which doubted whether she could do it as they even suffer to make having their lunch everyday. I just got her number; I know I cannot help her now but in future will see if I can help her, I said bye and got down from the bus and till the bus went so far, she was smiling at me. I am sure that she was sad to say bye for me, a person who just talked to her for twenty minutes. Mm.but I don’t know whether she will be the same after some years later also, will she? Will this world allow her to be so?